Being married to a soccer player or coach can create a huge shift in your identity. So much of your life becomes intertwined with their career that it’s easy to lose sight of who you are outside of the “wife of” title. It’s easy to get caught up in their world and forget that you have your own dreams, goals, and passions.
But as the years go by, you may start to feel like you’re standing in the shadows of your spouse’s success, while your own ambitions take a backseat. You’re busy being the caretaker, the organizer, the one who makes sure the home is a stable, loving environment for the kids, but what about you? What about your own career, your hobbies, your needs?
There’s often little time to nurture your own interests or even relax without guilt. And as you take on the lion’s share of responsibility at home, there’s a nagging feeling that you’re losing yourself in the process. The soccer world can be all-consuming, and you’re often left trying to catch up with your own desires outside of that world.
The Community and the Loneliness
One of the hardest parts of living in the shadow of a player is the sense of loneliness that can creep in. When your partner is away for games or training, the house feels quiet, and you’re left with the heavy task of managing everything alone. Yes, you have friends and family who offer support, but when the rest of the world is focused on your spouse’s career, it can be easy to feel isolated in your own life.
That’s why finding a solid community of other soccer wives or partners can make all the difference. There’s a unique bond that forms when you share the same challenges, the same lifestyle. You understand the struggles of having your partner’s job come first, the loneliness of time apart, and the shared victories and defeats that come with the territory.
But even with the support of other wives and friends, there’s still the lingering feeling that no one outside of this community truly understands the toll it takes on you. You can’t always express the frustration, the exhaustion, or the longing for more without feeling guilty or like you’re complaining. The soccer world is so focused on the players, and yet, the women behind them are often the ones left picking up the pieces.
Finding Balance: The Reward in the Chaos
Despite all the challenges and sacrifices, being married to a soccer player can be rewarding. Watching your partner do what they love, supporting their dreams, and seeing their success is fulfilling in its own right. But it’s also about finding balance. Finding ways to make sure that, in the midst of supporting your spouse and caring for the family, you don’t lose sight of your own happiness and well-being.
It’s okay to carve out time for yourself, to take pride in your own achievements, and to acknowledge that your role is just as important. You’re the glue that keeps everything together, and your worth doesn’t lie solely in the reflection of your partner’s career. You deserve to shine in your own right, even if it’s not on the field.
At the end of the day, it’s a partnership. And while the spotlight might often be on your spouse, the work you do behind the scenes is what makes everything possible. So, even if you’re living in the shadow of a soccer player, remember: you’re the one who makes the light shine a little brighter.