I traveled to a new city this past weekend to see my husbands new team play their first home game of the season. Nothing was familiar, everything around me was new and it hit me that I was starting over in a new city AGAIN. I couldn’t wait to get home to Austin; where I still live with my 2 boys until the end of the school year.
My friend, also from Austin, and her 2 boys came and sat with me the 2nd half of the game. Her husband, having just retired from playing, is now coaching for the team that was playing against my husbands team that evening. This is her first year as a coaches wife and we were talking about the differences in schedules and responsibilities in coaching as opposed to the schedule of a player. This is why it’s so important to have your own community of friends and other wives.
A move is especially difficult when you’ve fallen in love with a city, made amazing new friends and stayed in that city 2+ years. It’s hard to watch your children do their goodbye tour. You know that they are saying goodbye to their schools, their friends, their sports teams, neighbors, favorite local restaurants etc.
The goodbye tour plan starts the minute that you realize you are moving to a new city. You make a list of all of your favorite people, places and restaurants in your current city. And then you plan your time accordingly. I had 6 months from the time that the new contract was signed. Others have less than a month.
Last weekend, I was part of the goodbye tour for my friend and her 2 kids that I love so dearly. Kids that I’ve babysat and watch grow up over the last 4 years. We had our pre-goodbye at a park on a sunny day with food trucks and laughs and then ironically our reall goodbye (or see you soon) was at a soccer game where our husbands were coaching opposing teams for the 1st time. There were laughs, hugs and tears but it’s just part of the process for us.
My kids and I have a full list for our goodbye tour. We have fallen in love with this sweet city. Austin has been our home for 4 years. My best friend lives in our neighborhood and our kids are besties with her kids. This makes things even harder.
We have a list of 25+ restaurants to visit again. We have MANY outdoor activities to do- our favorite parks, playgrounds and springs to visit. The goodbye tour is full of fun and happiness and also full of tears. We schedule our last month with all of the friends we want to see. Luckily for us, we are only moving 3 hours away- we are moving to Dallas. My best friends parents will live 30 minutes from us so we get to see them a lot and drive back to Austin from time to time. Other moves are harder. Other move across the country or even out of the country.
We start over and we do it all over again. We just hope and pray that the next goodbye tour is in the distant future- in this business the distant future is 4+ years. Just enough time to fall in love with your new city and make things even harder. This makes us stronger but the process is heartbreaking. People on the outside think our lives are glamorous. No one really thinks about what the wives and kids go through behind the scenes. We are the back bone.